My suggestion for a dictionary that can provide a translation to those words you only ever see in newspapers has proved highly popular.
Thanks for all the suggestions that have come in so far - it's clear that many journalists (and I've probably been as guilty as any in my time) are often lapsing into lazy cliches that have little or no relation to the way people speak in real life.
Here are some of the best (though I'm open to any more suggestions - keep 'em coming!):
TOT: child aged anywhere between six months and three years.
As in: “Tot’s autopsy photos stir courtroom emotions� - the Philadelphia Star, January 25.
As it is never said in real life: “What a nice tot you have�; “How old is your tot now?�
SLAMMED: criticised.
As in: “Celtic boss Gordon Strachan has slammed the fees paid by English clubs for average players and claims it is spoiling the market.� – Clubcall, January 22.
As it is never said in real life: “That’s a terrible decision. I slam it.�
ACE: footballer, especially a forward.
As in: “Tottenham ace set for Parkhead?� – FansFC.com, January 24.
As it is never said in real life: “Newcastle could do with a new ace if we’re going to avoid relegation.�
STOPPER: footballer, especially a defender or a goalkeeper.
As in: “Another goalkeeper who could be on the move is Aston Villa stopper Thomas Sorensen. He is wanted by ambitious QPR after they ditched plans to sign Stefan Postma – another former Villa stopper.� – Metro, January 24.
As it would never be said in real life: “I hear Newcastle are buying a new stopper from Red Star Belgrade.�
QUIZZED: asked some questions.
As in: “Man quizzed by murder detectives.� BBC Online, January 2.
As it would never be said in real life: “Sorry I’m late, dear – I was being quizzed by my boss over that report I wrote.�
BUNGLE: make a mistake, especially of a council officer.
As in: “Our taxes must not be wasted on exorbitant legal fees to put right yet another bureaucratic bungle.� – Yorkshire Evening Post editorial, January 4.
As it would never be said in real life: "Oops. That's a bit of a bungle."
CAGED: put in jail.
As in: “A teenager has been caged for 16 months after battering a man in a drugs row.� – Greenock Telegraph, January 24.
As it would never be said in real life: “I hear that bloke from across the street has been caged for not paying his taxes.�
REVELLERS: people who are having a drink in a pub/nightclub.
As in: “A crime busting campaign that included giving condoms to Christmas revellers cut crime by 16%.�
As it would never be said in real life: “Blimey, it’s a bit packed in here. Shall we go somewhere where there are fewer revellers?�
BOFFINS: someone who works in a university (or is just a bit brainy).
As in: “Drinking beetroot juice can help lower blood pressure, say boffins at St Bart’s Hospital in London.� – The Sun, February 6.
As it would never be said in real life: “The boffin has given me a terrible mark for my essay.�
SWINGEING (as used to described cuts): large.
As in: “Will Salmond's £70million bribe to local government be enough to stave off swingeing cuts?� - Daily Record, February 22.
As it would never be said in real life: “You’ve lost a swingeing amount of weight. Are you on a diet?�
LAMBAST: criticise.
As in: “Is Ferguson right to lambast football agents or are they simply doing their job? – BBC Online, February 22.
As it would never be said in real life: “I lambast you for that terrible decision.�
SOURCE: person who’s told a journalist something and we want to make sound mysterious.
As in: “The Arizona Diamondbacks have reached an agreement on a minor league contract with veteran outfielder Trot Nixon, according to a baseball source.� – ESPN, February 21.
As it would never be said in real life: “Who told you that?� “Oh, a source.�
BRAVE: someone with a disease.
As in: “Councillor loses brave cancer battle.� – East Anglian Daily Times, February 7.
As it would never be said in real life: “My brave boyfriend’s battling a cold today.�
FRACAS: a fight.
As in: “Three men were arrested last week after a fracas that resulted in a police officer being arrested.� – Foster’s Daily Democrat, February 21.
As it would never be said in real life: “Look over there – there’s a fracas.�
COFFERS: bank account.
As in: “The latest figures from the Office for National Statistics show tax receipts were brimming over at the public coffers in January.� – Accountancy Age, February 19.
As it would never be said in real life: “I’m going to pay that cheque into my coffers.�
FURY: mild annoyance (which a journalist has to flam up to get his story onto the front page).
As in: “Six post office branches will be closed in Waltham Forest under plans announced this week, to the fury of customers and staff.� – This is London, February 19.
As it would never be said in real life: "The corner shop has sold out of Mars bars. I react with fury."
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