Kevin Keegan

Posted by Brenda Boyd on September 3, 2008 8:18 AM

Not being part of the Toon Army I'm not especially interested in the Kevin Keegan carry on.
But I am wondering if anyone is prepared to open a book on when and which tv news/sports programme will be the first to use "Should I stay or should I go" as background music to a sequence or montage about the story.

(Unless of course it's already happened and I've missed it)

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With friends like these ....

Posted by Brenda Boyd on September 2, 2008 8:55 AM

Bazoukiboy came around for a cup of tea the other day and he, Fester and I started discussing a mutual friend.

"Well" says Bazoukiboy "he is a completely self-absorbed narcissist."

"Be honest" says Fester "with a face like that he can't afford to be a narcissist."

Miawoo.

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Big Green Seaside Station Day

Posted by Brenda Boyd on August 31, 2008 12:22 PM

Yesterday Tyne Bridge danced at Whitley Bay's Big Green Seaside Station Day - and it was an excellent booking. At least for me it was.

North Tyneside Events Department put together an excellent event with interesting and useful stalls with lots of freebies available. The entertainment was good too with bands from all over the country, conjurers and acrobats.

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The last Grammar School Girls & Boys

Posted by Brenda Boyd on August 29, 2008 9:51 AM

Last Friday saw me driving down the A1M, M42, M5, M50 and A40, back home to Wales, in trepidation thinking "Why on earth am I doing this?"
It is 40 years since I, and some sixty others, started at Llandeilo Grammar School. The next year the school amalgamated with Llandybie Secondary Modern to become Tregib Comprehensive. We were the last Grammar School Girls and Boys - and Julie Drew had organised a reunion.

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Dancing in the street

Posted by Brenda Boyd on August 18, 2008 10:08 AM

Last month Mrs Mobilephone organised a reunion for the members of the now defunct Sandgate Women's Clog Morris team. The team was established for the Queen's Jubliee and had it's last dance out 10 years ago. Lack of members in both Sandgate and Tyne Bridge saw the teams fold into each other to form the current Tyne Bridge Morris in the mid 1990s. (I had tiny children at the time so had stopped dancing with Sandgate. However when Number Two Son turned three I joined the new Tyne Bridge. It was that or succumb to cabin fever and infanticide, homicide or suicide. )

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Postcards from the edge?

Posted by Brenda Boyd on August 14, 2008 12:31 PM

In recent years Tyne Bridge have become regulars at Broadstairs Folk Week. I can't go due to family and Fester's work commitments. So they send me postcards and the occasional text (the far east of Kent having very poor mobile coverage). The first year they sent one a day. This morning I received an envelope containing five numbered cards - one for each of the days the team performed. Below are edited highlights (as usual names have been changed to protect the guilty). Where I recognise the hand I will identify the writer.

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Ghost in the machine?

Posted by Brenda Boyd on August 9, 2008 9:29 PM

Not long after my late husband Phil and I moved in together we went on a weekend trip to Edinburgh where, on the spur of the moment, he bought me a claddagh ring.

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A better class of heckle

Posted by Brenda Boyd on July 7, 2008 8:15 PM

Getting wet in Wallsend on Saturday reminded me of the time Tyne Bridge danced at the Durham Folk Party a couple of years ago….

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Wet in Wallsend

Posted by Brenda Boyd on July 6, 2008 3:45 PM

Yesterday Tyne Bridge Morris danced at Wallsend Festival for the first time. It was also Miss Ecograd’s first dance out at a proper booking (not counting May Day morning and Mrs Quilt’s Diamond Do). Our first spot was at 1.15pm outside Woolworths so we arranged to meet at a quarter to – this makes sure everyone is there and ready to go at the start of the spot. I parked near the Town Hall and, carrying the garland bags, stick bags and my own kit bag, walked through the funfair part of the festival to Woolies. I had my umbrella but didn’t need to put it up. Miss Ecograd arrived first, followed gradually by everyone else who had signed up for the booking.

The Town Centres Manager came over resplendent in Barbour jacket and hat and said we could dance anywhere in the street we liked. It started to drizzle but two security lads volunteered to hold golf umbrellas over our musicians as they don’t like getting their instruments wet. Banjoman gets very concerned about rusty strings.

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Foot in Mouth 3: “So sharp you’ll cut yourself�?

Posted by Brenda Boyd on June 22, 2008 7:01 PM

My late mother (r.i.p.) was blessed with a very quick wit, and cursed with children who inherited it. On the rare occasions when one of us came back with a reply she had no answer to her final word (and Mother always had the final word) would be “Watch out, one day you’ll be so sharp you’ll cut yourself.�?

She was right.

The prim and easily shocked should read no further. Although as my oldest best friend Siân’s mother used so say “All is pure to the pure.�?

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Foot in Mouth 2: Your slip's showing

Posted by Brenda Boyd on June 13, 2008 10:09 AM

I will admit that I regularly engage my mouth before putting my brain into gear (as my oldest best friend Siân says). Here are more examples – in all cases I was drinking lime and soda. The prim and easily shocked should read no further.

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Foot in Mouth 1

Posted by Brenda Boyd on May 30, 2008 8:55 AM

Having commented on Mrs Quilt’s innumerate moment at practice a while ago, I will admit that I regularly engage my mouth before putting my brain into gear (as my oldest best friend Siân says). Here are a couple of examples – in all cases I was drinking lime and soda.

The prim and easily shocked should read no further.
Although as Siân’s mother used to say “All is pure to the pure.�?

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Morris Golfers?

Posted by Brenda Boyd on May 25, 2008 7:24 PM

Yesterday Fester, the boys and I went for a day out to Whitby on the train. We returned via the Esk Valley line and then the line from Middlesbrough to Newcastle via Sunderland. This takes you along the coast for much of the way. Looking out of the window I noticed a fairly barren, windblown links golf course and wondered why on earth anyone would want to be out there trying to knock a small ball into a slightly larger hole.

“You know�? I commented to Fester “I can never see the attraction of golf.�?

“Well�? he replied “I don’t suppose many golfers see the attraction of morris dancing.�?

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Return of the Dragon

Posted by Brenda Boyd on May 17, 2008 11:05 PM

Today Tyne Bridge danced at Sedgefield Medieaval Fayre. Lovely booking but with the worst dancing surface I know of. The Squire was at a Rugby Club Ball last night so didn’t sign up for the booking, as she knew she’d have a hangover, so the Deputy Squire was in charge.

In our first spot we did turn and turn about with Black Sheep Morris. We started with Churchtown, followed by Rose & Crown, Goostrey and Mobberley. As the middle two were six person dances I got the dragon out and worked the crowd frightening small children. Whilst we were doing Mobberley I noticed a man looking at us and smiling. Later, as we were sitting outside the Dun Cow drinking beer in the drizzle, he approached us and asked if we could do him a favour. Deputy Squire gave me the “We’ve got a right one here�? look. But he seemed harmless so we humoured him.

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Penguin History

Posted by Brenda Boyd on May 12, 2008 8:00 PM

Yesterday was the Squire’s birthday so I popped down with her gifts – a cuddly penguin back pack and a cuddly penguin cd holder - with which she was delighted. We have been exchanging penguin type gifts since we were flatmates in 1982 and this is why.

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May Day Morning

Posted by Brenda Boyd on May 4, 2008 2:29 PM

Dancing at Dawn on Town Moor on May Day morning went well.

It was quite an occasion as it was 30 years since the first dance (we believe), Bodhranman’s 25th consecutive May Day morning, twenty years since Mrs Leftfooter first came along and Number Two Son’s first attendance.

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Dancing for St George

Posted by Brenda Boyd on April 29, 2008 4:41 PM

The dance out on Sunday went very well – despite the occasional drizzle.

All the teams turned up, and everyone in Tyne Bridge who said they would. Even Madame Fifi who rang me at about 10.30 to ask what we were going to do if it rained. She gets Guitarman in and out of his wheelchair so it wasn’t an unreasonable question.

Baltic Square is one of the best places to dance on Tyneside. It is flat, sheltered by the Baltic and the Tyne gorge and faces west . In the afternoon it is quite a suntrap. There is an excellent backdrop of the Sage, the bridges and Newcastle Quayside. The Millennium Bridge, and Q-buses, bring a steady stream of visitors who almost all stop to have a look. The steps up to the road even provide seating for the audience. The Baltic itself has toilets and a café where thirsty dancers can acquire water, coffee or even lunch. There is also good (if expensive) parking nearby with exceedingly enthusiastic parking attendants. On a sunny afternoon it is almost perfect.

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Morris Media Tart

Posted by Brenda Boyd on April 23, 2008 12:51 PM

As I have worked in public relations (sorry Graeme my secret is out) whenever there’s an event coming up I do a press release and email it out to all and sundry.

Next Sunday, 27th April from noon until 2.30pm, seven traditional dance teams from all over Tyneside will be dancing for St George outside the Baltic from 12 noon until 2.30pm. The organiser sent me the list of teams (Addison Rapper, Clog and Children, Hexham Morris Men, Hexhamshire Lasses, Short Circuit and Tyne Bridge Morris) while we were away on holiday in Wales. So I didn’t get the release emailed out until yesterday lunchtime. But yesterday afternoon I got a ‘phone call from a very nice girl at BBC Radio Newcastle asking if I’d like to go on the Mike Parr Show to talk about St George’s Day.

So first thing this morning, while boys got their own breakfast, I put on kit, got out a garland and the dragon, threw my clog bag into the boot of the car and set off to the Pink Palace. The gentleman on reception was quite surprise to see a female morris dancer walk in with a large red dragon over her shoulder.

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Goodnight sweetheart

Posted by Brenda Boyd on April 11, 2008 10:57 PM

I never intended getting a replacement cat after Tiddles died; Matilda was perfectly content to be a single cat. But constant nagging from the boys and a trip to a pet shop in North Shields put an end to that.

A little black scrap of a thing (with white toes, bib and whiskers) climbed out of the manageress’ arms onto mine, looked deep into my heart with her navy-blue boot-button eyes and I was lost. We called her Kitty and she loved us. If anyone was in the house she was always in the same room, preferably within a few feet, purring like a motorbike. She perfected climbing up onto Fester’s shoulders (shirt or no shirt) to bully him into giving her cheese slices. She gave affection generously but on her own terms; grabbing your hand to lick it, and holding fingers and knuckles in her mouth. It only hurt if you tried to pull away.

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Chateau Midden: chat aux bain

Posted by Brenda Boyd on April 6, 2008 10:18 PM

Every night the boys have a bath. One son goes in, followed by the other and finally Fester. As they all bathe each night they never get particularly dirty, and neither does the water. The bath gets topped up with hot for each new occupant.

Tonight Number One son decided to have his bath quite early so it was left unattended for a little while. After drying his hair, he went downstairs. Number Two was on the computer in the office. Fester and I were lying on the bed watching Top Gear.

Suddenly there was a great KER-SPLOOSH.

“Hippo�? said Fester.

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The Diamond Do

Posted by Brenda Boyd on April 6, 2008 4:58 PM

Well Mrs Quilt’s Diamond birthday do went off well – Deo gratias (as my old mum used to say).

I bumped into lots of people I hadn't seen in years, and discovered that there are people out there who actually read this. Not all of them people I've emailed about it!

No accidents or injuries in the dancing, as far as I know. Which is good as it was Miss Ecograd’s first dance out with Tyne Bridge. Mr Ecograd accompanied her and Banjoman did his best to persuade him to come along to practices and play concertina. Mr Ecograd declined on the grounds he isn’t good enough yet.

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“Get that dragon off!�?

Posted by Brenda Boyd on March 30, 2008 10:51 AM

It’s not a call you hear every day (unless you’re into fantasy gaming), especially in Morpeth, even during the Gathering.

It happened like this …

Last Thursday at Tyne Bridge practice the Squire was working out how many and which dancers were coming to Morpeth Gathering. and who would be dancing where in the Procession. Our current processional dance is Churchtown. It can be done by 8 or more dancers, but it really has to be an even number. The team progresses in a column of two abreast – in other words in couples. It was agreed that if we had an even number of dancers I would dance – and if we had an odd number I would be the dragon.

This is the point where children and childlike adults should stop reading as it will spoil the magic for them.

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Chateau Midden: cordless ‘phone

Posted by Brenda Boyd on March 27, 2008 7:52 PM

Tyne Bridge Morris has our first dance out of 2008 this Saturday at Morpeth Gathering. Number Two Son has just reminded me of something that happened at Morpeth Gathering a couple of years ago.

Tyne Bridge Morris’ kit comprises blue skirt and waistcoat, white blouse, black tights and clogs and red sash. Some of us are fortunate enough to have big blue woolly jackets to match. As Morpeth can be chilly (it will be this year) I normally take mine to wear when we’re not dancing. I always put my kit on (except clogs) before going to a booking as I can’t be bothered to find places to change – or to carry extra clothing.

However much information I hand/email out, and however often they are told, before most bookings someone will always ‘phone me to check on times, meeting places or whatever. Invariably when I’m upstairs putting tights onto freshly showered legs.

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Numeracy

Posted by Brenda Boyd on March 23, 2008 7:42 PM

"To be a Morris dancer you need to be able to count to at least 8, preferably 12, and in some exceptional cases 32. So one expects a level of numeracy in dancers,�?

Tyne Bridge had an excellent practice this Thursday evening with 12 dancers turning up.

This allowed us to practice the double Rose & Crown for Mrs Quilt’s birthday do and go through most dances twice.

In the case of Goostrey we had two entirely different sets. The first was made up mostly of old hands who know the dance and their positions well. The second included novices and those who had moved positions in order to accommodate people who need to learn a particular position.

The Deputy Squire went up to the set to explain some finer details but was stopped short by Mrs Quilt, who held up a magisterial hand saying:-

“Excuse me – but we’ve got seven people out of place here!�?

Goostrey is, of course, a six person dance.

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Chateau Midden: Flying Pig

Posted by Brenda Boyd on March 19, 2008 1:21 PM

I’m the first to admit that I am not the world’s best housewife.

I particularly hate doing the stairs. The hoover has not been invented that will do the job properly. The main bit is too big and the attachment only sucks and doesn’t sweep. There’s also the pain of pulling the whole thing up behind you. Or the danger of leaving it at the top of the stairs and waiting for it to topple and descend onto you when you’re half way down. So I end up doing them with a handbrush, which takes ages but means they're done properly.

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Reverend Paisley

Posted by Brenda Boyd on March 4, 2008 10:42 PM

Hearing on the News at Ten that the Reverend Ian Paisley is stepping down reminded me of an incident with a fellow Catholic friend of mine a few years ago when the boys were small.

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Ooh Err Mrs

Posted by Brenda Boyd on March 1, 2008 4:25 PM

Last night I finally managed to prize off a pair of speakers my late husband Phil had fixed to wall above the kitchen door. They used to be linked to the music centre in the living room so we could listen to cd’s whilst washing up or cooking. They ceased to function after Number One Son turned the volume up to 11 when he was a toddler. After the best part of two decades the adhesive pads had finally degraded sufficiently to pull the speakers off the wall and cut away the redundant cables.

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Tyne Bridge Morris AGM

Posted by Brenda Boyd on February 29, 2008 12:04 PM

It was TyneBridge’s Morris' Annual General Meeting last night when officers of the team make their reports and are 'elected', dancers commit to bookings and various bits of team business and affairs are discussed (sadly not those sort of affairs).

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They know you know

Posted by Brenda Boyd on February 14, 2008 9:10 AM

This weekend, being the start of half term, we are due to drive down to the land of my fathers for the week. The day before yesterday I tried to start my ten year old Skoda Felicia but was unable to get the key in the ignition. The kindly AA man (got bless them) told me the steering/ignition lock had fallen in on itself, it was due to old age, he’d seen it before and he’d try to get the key in and get it started for me. With WD40 and a picklock he succeeded in pushing the tumblers into place and inserting the key.

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Kiss of death?

Posted by Brenda Boyd on February 5, 2008 9:27 AM

Number 2 son knows that I am a widow. The wedding photo is there for all to see and he knows Phil died before I got together with his father

Or as he said when I was explaining this “Then you got a new man – you bought Daddy�?. If only it were that simple, I could trade him in for a quieter model that doesn’t snore, have gout or sort invertebrates in my kitchen (if there's anything that smells worse than a rotting slug I don't want to know about it).

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Hereditary pedantry?

Posted by Brenda Boyd on February 2, 2008 8:03 PM

The other evening I went into our office where No2 son was on the internet (it’s actually the little box-room over the stairs).
“Shall I close the curtains, or leave them as they are?�? I asked.
He looked at me solemnly and with not a little distain before stating “There’s only one curtain in this room.�?
I left wordlessly.

At Tyne Bridge practice that night I recalled this story to Mrs Drummerman. She is a health-visitor and has always taken an active and helpful interest in my boys.

“Ah�? she said sagely “that’s what it’s like with autistic children.�?

But I’m not so sure.

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Pleasure in small things

Posted by Brenda Boyd on January 29, 2008 9:58 AM

Last summer the Squire was looking for a new home for a clamshell style paddling pool/sand pit that her children had grown out of.

Fester sometimes accidentally brings home living tadpoles or other mini-beasts in his water body surveys. The water butt was ok as a temporary home, but hardly ideal. We’d wanted to put some sort of garden pond in my garden so the Squire brought the paddling pool up to our house.

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A double Rose&Crown

Posted by Brenda Boyd on January 26, 2008 12:50 PM

Tyne Bridge had an excellent practice on Thursday with 12 dancers turning up.

Little Miss Fiddle was welcomed back after quite a long break doing her Post Graduate Certificate of Teaching, part time whilst working as a peripatetic music teacher. As well as being an experienced dancer she plays the fiddle in the band between times. We have a few dancers who double up and there are times in bookings when there are more people playing than dancing.

Mrs Quilt is approaching a big birthday so we are beginning to think about what to perform at her Diamond Do. As there will, hopefully, be twelve dancers going she suggested doing either a big Grenoside, which can be done in multiples of three, or two sets* of a six person dance. As Grenoside is one of the Squire’s bêtes noire (see previous entry 'When the cat's away'), two sets of Rose&Crown was chosen.

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Clogs v trainers

Posted by Brenda Boyd on January 16, 2008 4:44 PM

As we may have mentioned before Tyne Bridge is a women’s North West Clog Morris team. This means that the dances we do originate from the mill towns of North West England. They developed in and around the mills during the industrial revolution when footwear of working people (if they had any) was clogs.

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Name the Year

Posted by Brenda Boyd on December 19, 2007 9:15 PM

The Name the Year picture puzzle in the Journal on Monday (17 December) induced a flood of texts and emails from me to various friends who are or were or are or were linked to the Kingsmen Sword Dancers. It may have produced an increase in sales of at least 2 copies.

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Email from big brother

Posted by Brenda Boyd on December 10, 2007 10:59 AM

The other day I mentioned to my big brother that I needed to lift our potato crop in the back garden. Today I received this reply.

(By way of explanation. He was born, almost 65 years ago, in Princess Mary’s Maternity Hospital and spent his first five years on Tyneside before our Dad’s and his own RAF career took him all over the place. He finally settled in the Land of our Fathers – but our Mother’s Geordie roots still show from time to time.)

Hence this email

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Not so Bashful

Posted by Brenda Boyd on December 7, 2007 4:32 PM

The hall Tyne Bridge Morris practice in is also used by Heaton Community Centre’s playgroup (amongst other people). So there is soft play, equipment and various large toys around the room.

Last night we noticed a row of large cuddly toy type dolls sitting on one of the radiator covers. They looked vaguely familiar, and on closer inspection turned out to be the Seven Dwarfs.

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Book early to avoid disappointment

Posted by Brenda Boyd on December 1, 2007 4:49 PM

Few of Tyne Bridge Morris have got next year’s diary or calendar yet - but I’m already receiving enquiries about bookings for next summer.

We’ve already had to turn down one invitation to a weekend of dance on the grounds of distance (sorry Oyster Morris of Canterbury)…

Other dates being considered so far are:-

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When the cat's away

Posted by Brenda Boyd on November 18, 2007 5:09 PM

Tyne Bridge had an interesting practice on Thursday night.

The Squire was away at a rugby match and the Deputy Squire was in charge.

So we did the dances that don’t get done that often because the Squire doesn’t like them.

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NUMERACY

Posted by Brenda Boyd on November 14, 2007 9:04 PM

To be a Morris dancer you need to be able to count to at least 8, preferably 12, and in some exceptional cases 32. So one expects a level of numeracy in dancers, especially those of us who are Countdown aficionados. Even so I’m still a little surprised at what happened in Asda today ...

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Chateau Midden: Festering Elbow

Posted by Brenda Boyd on October 11, 2007 10:58 PM

This is the second week I’ve missed Tyne Bridge's dance practice due to family commitments.

Last week I stayed home because Fester, the father of my children, was on his way back from an EU biodiversity meeting in Brussels. This week is his fault again.

(Bear in mind whilst reading the following that Fester is a well educated, intelligent man in his fifties. He works for a University and is a BSc, MSc, PhD and Fellow of a scientific society.)

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Morris Musicians

Posted by Brenda Boyd on September 29, 2007 10:02 AM

After Tyne Bridge practice we almost always go to the pub. Some of us might prefer to go the Cumberland Arms, Byker, which is the spiritual home of traditional dance in Newcastle. However as there is another pub within walking distance of the banjo-player’s home we usually go there.

Last night we walk in and standing at the bar was a musician mate of Banjoman. Matey flung his arms around me saying “Ooh - my favourite person.�?

Now I’m not used to this sort of reception – and he wasn’t even drunk – so I looked a little quizzical.

“Well�? he explained “You p*ssed off Ginger the melodeon player. He used to be a mate of mine - once.�?(I won’t explain further – it might be libellous)

This leads us nicely into the problem of finding musicians to play for dancing.

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In lovely memory

Posted by Brenda Boyd on September 24, 2007 1:26 PM

At 5.45pm on Thursday 24th September 1992 my lovely husband Phil Ranson passed away and I was widowed. The cancer that had started in his bowel and moved to his liver finally filled his lungs and he was forced to give up the fight for breath.

It was the day after my 36th birthday, and he had given me the best present he could that year, simply by staying alive. Although, being a musician, he always did have good timing.

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Apussite card

Posted by Brenda Boyd on September 23, 2007 10:53 AM

Today is my birthday, and were I a Roman it would be my LI’th.

This year’s prize for the card, and gift, which made me laugh out loud goes to the Squire.

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More Sport Morris

Posted by Brenda Boyd on September 22, 2007 11:28 AM

At practice on Thursday night my Goddaughter (the Squire’s daughter) said “I read your blog about morris and sport – gerrin!�? – which I took as approval. This lead to conversation on morris as sport and competitions.

The Squire pointed out that there are Northumberland & Durham Clog competitions at Morpeth Gathering and the like. However this isn’t morris dancing. An English traditional dance yes – morris dancing no.

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SPORT: Morris?!

Posted by Brenda Boyd on September 20, 2007 11:16 AM

I was somewhat surprised on perusing the Journal’s Blog Central page this morning to find myself and morris dancing listed as Sport.

Now far be it from me to bite the hand that has given me a blog to write in but - Morris dancing a sport!

When someone told me back in the ‘80s that a morris or rapper team had asked Northern Arts for a grant and been told to go to the Sports Council (who quite reasonably told them to go away) – I didn't really believe them. Maybe I was wrong.

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Saturday lie in

Posted by Brenda Boyd on September 15, 2007 9:17 AM

Number One son is autistic, Number Two is somewhere on the spectrum too – and I have distinct suspicions about their father.

On schooldays I have to virtually use a cattle prod to get Number One out of bed.

But, despite the fact he’s allowed up almost as late as he likes on Friday night, Saturday is a different story …

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Shoulder problem

Posted by Brenda Boyd on September 14, 2007 2:43 PM

Last night was Tyne Bridge Morris’ second practice after our Summer break and the Squire decided that we would teach the new girl (yippee we got one) Mobberley.

Mobberley is a stick dance. When we dance out we have short sticks with ribbons and bells. The practice sticks are naked. For most of the time in Mobberley the sticks are held in our hands on our hips – fishwife fashion. Except that is when we do the ‘windmill hey’, when our arms are held out and go up and down in opposite directions with the beat (think about little boys playing airplanes).

But I have developed something called a shoulder impingement ….

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You're the what?

Posted by Brenda Boyd on September 12, 2007 3:34 PM

Non-morris people tend to look at me sideways when I announce that I'm the Bagman of Tyne Bridge Morris.

Which is unsurprising as according to Wikipedia:-
"A bag man (or bagman) is a person designated to collect money in a protection racket. Originally the term applied on to Mafia members collecting for mob bosses, but the term later spread to use in corrupt police precincts where a foot patrolman was designated "bagman" to pick up and deliver bribes from the local mob(s) to the precinct captain."

However that is American.
Here in England (and the rest of the UK) it has an older and entirely different meaning ...

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