If patience is a virtue...

Posted by Write Said Fred on July 14, 2008 11:01 AM

... then I'm changin my name by deed poll to Fred 'the virtuous' Telfer.

It was December 24, 2007 when I put in my order for two front teeth... and I'm only just seeing the whites of my top two gnashers breaking through the vast sea of gums responsible for a 1,018 gummy smiles to date.

Santa better be quicker about this year's list or someone's gonna have to have a word.

(I would write more but I'm sunny myself in Provence... I'll send a blog card when I've perfected by backstroke and picked a bunch of lavender for mum)

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I've kept my end of the bargain...

Posted by Write Said Fred on June 13, 2008 2:40 PM

For as long as I can remember I have been the recipient of more hand-clapping than you could shake a rattle at.

When I was teeny tiny, I only had to stick out my tongue on demand to get a rousing roud of applause.

Then there were the burps. Every bubble of wind which has left my mouth since day dot has had its own rapturous welcome.

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I'm a Swayze baby

Posted by Write Said Fred on June 6, 2008 9:44 AM

I've just found the best thing EVER.

Picture the scene... I'm using my new found mobility to explore the house from top to bottom and then some when I stumble across a red plastic key-ring-type device whose buttons make it resemble a lady birdy-bug.

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The world is my lobster

Posted by Write Said Fred on May 30, 2008 10:23 AM

Be careful what you wish for parentals... this baby is no longer a put-him-down-and-know-he'll-stay-there kind of guy...

I have officially graduated from the imaginary starting blocks I've been rocking on for the past two months and learned how to put one knee in front of the other. Who knew there were so many nooks, crannies and apparent certain death traps (if the mumster is to be believed) on my very doorstep.

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Big Brother is watching... and I'm an only child

Posted by Write Said Fred on May 10, 2008 3:54 PM

Contrary to parental belief, I've never considered myself to be that much of a drama queen, so please take the following plea seriously.

CALL THE POLICE! GET ME A LAWYER! MY HUMAN RIGHTS ARE BEING VIOLATED AT EVERY TURN!

It has recently come to my attention that my bedroom – my teddy-laden haven away from the hustle and bustle of babydom – has been bugged. That's right freedom fans B-U-G-G-E-D.

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In the words of Alanis Morissette...

Posted by Write Said Fred on March 23, 2008 3:57 PM

Isn’t it (or more accurately, aren’t I) ironic?

How ironic can a seven month old baby be you may ask... well check this out.

Picture the scene. It’s mine and mum’s first Mother’s Day, the cards have been opened, the pressies approved, the happy tears have been shed and a lovely lunch has been had by all.

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A second wind

Posted by Write Said Fred on February 25, 2008 11:56 PM

There are many things which keep me awake.

Losing monkey; the thought that baby rice may be reintroduced into my daily routine; having to go back where I came from (I don’t mind telling you I’ve put on a few pounds what with Christmas and everything); the possibility that Martha won't marry me one day... the list goes on.

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Tastebuds are officially tickled

Posted by Write Said Fred on February 17, 2008 10:12 PM

Heaven, I'm in baby tastebud heaven...

What has taken her so long to introduce me to cauliflower cheese. It's what I believe they call in the trade, a miracle.

For the past few weeks I've been presented with a variety of mush and I've done my best to smile my way through the likes of "butternut squashy"; "sweet tatoe"; and "turnip delight" - and all the time she had cauliflower cheese in her back pocket.

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Six-Month Meltdown

Posted by Write Said Fred on February 6, 2008 1:06 PM

I don't mind telling you I'm pooing myself (which isn't out of the ordinary for a five-and-three-quarters-month old baby, I grant you), but I'm talking metaphorically here.

As I mentioned in my meet and greet, February 8 will see me reaching the grand old age of six months and from what I've just heard, the next few weeks will not be going down as the best days of my life.

Up until now I’ve been happily floating along the babbling baby brook – I haven’t had a flashback to the birth in weeks, colic is a distant (but still rather painful) memory and the little slug which had attached itself to my belly button is long gone.

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Freddie or not...

Posted by Write Said Fred on February 3, 2008 9:02 PM

The name’s Fred. Baby Fred (or if it’s Sunday – which it is - Fred Lucas).

Mum chose my first name; Dad chose my second. He still insists it had nothing to do with his Star Wars obsession – an argument which is hard to swallow given the only other names he suggested could have seen my birth certificate reading Fred Lucas Chewbacker R2-D2 Skywalker.

On February 8 I’ll be six months old.

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